16 April 2014

How to Feel Happier

how to Feel happier
Stop looking to people and things outside of yourself to make you happy. Happiness can be found within. Don't believe it? OK think about this.

1. Move the goalposts for yourself, change the rules of the happiness game. It's all about what you perceive happiness to be. You decide to be happy or not - it's not other people, physical possessions, and not events happening around you. It is your response to life that will increase or decrease your happiness. Of course if you have suffered bereavement, devastating news, or some other terrible loss then you may need more than this article to help you, but consider this in the context of everyday normal life.

2. Re-examine your wants and needs. A materialistic person might believe that having a diamond ring will make them happy. They will not be happy until they own the ring. Are they beating themselves up for no reason? Let the diamond ring go, remove the desire for it, and you remove the sadness of not having it.
Now this is starting to sound like you should be happy with your lot, that you should not work towards greater things - not true. If you want to feel happier in yourself you need to have acceptance of your life as it is before you move forward.

3. Accept the here and now, and look to the future with hope and ambition. Don't wish your life away on things that you want and think you need, but try to enjoy the present and look around you at what you already have. If you have children think about how lucky you are, how many people in the world cannot conceive? If you have a warm home, roof over your head and good food to eat, consider yourself lucky because many people do not have these things. Examine your own situation in the context of all people, and you may see that you are actually quite lucky. So try to think more positively about the things you have, the environment you live in, the people that you know, and the events you are looking forward to. Stop and recognize how far you have come.

Why is a Tibetan monk so happy? He has let go of material things and lives a basic life of meditation and prayer. Stop beating yourself up, let go of the constant wants and pressures that society and media creates and see that they are all superficial external forces. It can be your choice to let these things affect you and make you unhappy. By recognizing the goodness in your life as it stands you have a greater chance of finding inner peace.

4.   Take ownership of your own happiness. Remember, if you say 'She made me shout', 'the traffic made me angry', 'the beer made me drunk', you may be letting yourself down. Under normal circumstances, no one or no thing than MAKE you shout, angry or drunk, it was YOU that allowed yourself to be. So, don't allow the world to 'make you unhappy' because it's you that owns the emotion. Likewise, external forces cannot 'make you happy' it's weather you choose to allow yourself to be.

So in the end, once you have examined what is really important, what you really need and who is instrumental in your life - you can prioritize better. Follow your heart and your ambition, and let everything else flow past you like water off a duck's back. If you cannot find happiness, change your definition of happiness, or you may be forever chasing what you cannot catch.